u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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