Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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