you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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