Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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