he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
