Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
