That's when you crack a 10am beer
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i think my cat just said my name.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
