u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
