Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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