Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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