Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
