Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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