maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
