I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize