i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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