I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
