She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize