Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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