4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
