What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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