Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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