In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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