Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
