Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
