You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
