I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
