I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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