There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
