she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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