me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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