It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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