I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
