So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
