I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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