absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
