If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
