I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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