my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize