two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
