We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
