I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
