Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
