I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
