He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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