singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
