Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
