cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
