rhymes with "ouble enetration"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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