you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think your dad took our porno
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
