Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize