Me too!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
