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she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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