She's JV to your varsity
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize