shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
